From the Top Of The Hill

My butt's planted back in Lincoln. The livin' is easy and friends are aplenty. Life is good.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

We've got your crazy, right here.

One of the interesting things about where I work is that we get customers from all walks of life. On occaision this can be very entertaining, other times very annoying and frustrating. Andrew is one of our "regular" customers. My friend Todd who works at a bike shop in Beverly Hills likes to talk about the crazy people he interacts with there. Well, I'll put Andrew up next to anything Todd can describe and I think he'll hold his own. Andrew can be seen riding around town on a 24" wheel bike from Target. It's the only bike he'll ride. His bike, like most everything he owns, is covered in paint. Layers and layers of paint. He says it makes thing more beautiful. I'm fairly certain the pigments in the paint aren't the only colors Andrew is seeing. He likes to ride the wrong way down streets-into traffic-at night without lights. He wears vinyl track suits all the time, even on the hottest, muggiest days of the year. And he smells like a gas station bathroom with broken plumbing. Some of Andrew's observations about life and the people he meets are quite intriguing, but getting him to stop talking about them and actually leave your store can be very agonizing. Often we end up helping him just to get him on his way so he doesn't scare the other customers. Andrew kinda makes me sad. Here's this guy who wasn't able to deal with his problems or cope in society on a normal level and turned to drugs. Now he doesn't have much of a mind left and exists in the margins of society. I don't know much more about him, I've tried to pry info from him, but that's frustrating, too. As much of a pain he can be, I worry that I'm going to read about him getting smeared on his bike on O Street someday.


  • At 10:45 PM, Anonymous todd said…


    Tony I'll see your dirty hippy and raise you a legally blind, perpertually drunk guy named Craig Fine who rides all over LA with headphones. The guy is Helen Keller on a bike. And for added style points check out his wicked ink. The best one is one you can't see which is on his arm and reads "just and old hippy."

    And if that wasn't enough he used to run shine in hills of Tennessee and he once got shot by LAPD (note the scar) on accident and lives off his settlement check. But he'll be the first one to tell you "Gettin' shot ain't cool."

    Oh and lastly he once tried to return one of those insulated Polar water bottles because it wasn't keeping his Colorado Kool Aid cold enought

  • At 10:22 AM, Blogger 3p0 said…

    ah the glue man...

  • At 7:13 AM, Blogger Cornbread said…

    I never knew that guys name. Andrew.

    I once had a long conversation with him while I was workin' on removing some stickers from SoccerMom outside of Baker's Hardware. He was tryin' to convince me to help him break into his apartment cuz his landlord put a padlock on his door. It took him about 30 minutes to get that across to me. He was all over the place.

    I've seen him walk thru the busiest intersections in town as if he were God. People treat him like a cow in India and patiently wait for him to pass. No one even honks. Now that's power.

  • At 7:57 AM, Blogger mg said…

    Yeah i never knew his name either, but I see him on a regular basis.

    The first time I saw Andrew, it was 11pm, and a cop had just pulled him over after he made a left turn off of O street onto 48th street, predictably on his bike with absolutely no lights, and two flat tires...

    ... at least he was going WITH the traffic flow. that's an exception, and certainly not the rule with andrew.

    his brain may be gone, but at least he still rides a bike...


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