For my friends back in L.A.

Just a random ad found on the wall of The Mill, a coffee house in the Haymarket area of Lincoln. THIS is why I moved back.

Alley Bomber Squadron

Went on the Monkey Wrench ride last night. Eleven guys, two campuses, 50 barking dogs, three-fourths of every muddy alley in Lincoln and one Bob's Tavern. Good times. $2.25 for a tall-boy of Old Style is highway robbery though. Oh, could I have gotten a more unflattering photo of these guys?

Pot Hole Swallows Two Cyclists, News at Eleven

Riding around with my good buddy Butch yesterday and we discovered this unusually deep pot hole down in the Haymarket.

The new digs.

Check out the white-picket fence. How much more Americana can you get? This is where I'm living now with my friend Tim Tharp. Just a couple of swingin' bachelors with a bunch of bikes and beers.

And how 'bout that snow? Man I missed the stuff. People think I'm crazy for missing winter while I was living in the incredibly nice but highly predictable and boring California weather. Give me 2 feet of snow anyday.

God has blessed us with his amazing flourescence

Driving out of Pueblo, Colorado super early on Tuesday morning I saw a pretty amazing sunrise. It looked like someone had turned on a huge, red spotlight shining straight up into the sky. Either that or a nuclear bomb had wiped out Kansas City.

I Loathe the Eagles.

Standin' on a corner in Winslow, Arizona. I was passing through and couldn't resist the opportunity to live out the lyrics of a song by one of my most hated bands.

Mmm, mmm, mmm. Mark and Michelle.

On my trip back from my California sojourn I stopped in Scottsdale, AZ to visit my good friend Mark. I met his adorable girlfriend Michelle while there. The highlight had to be eating dinner at the bar where we were excitedly welcomed as "Young People!" We were probably about 25 years younger than the median age in the place.

There's no dinosaurs in Paris, Texas!

Let me preface this post by fully admitting that I'm a Dork with a capital "D". Not only am I a fan of Pee-Wee Herman, I was once a member of his fan club and issued my own pair of size 60 whitey-tighties. If you don't know, don't ask. Anyhoo, once upon a time best left forgot, three of my friends and I ventured to Padre Island, Texas for spring break. While our time in Padre (approxiamately five hours) might possibly be the lamest spring break trip ever, our journey was filled with laughs and adventure. On the way back to Nebraska my friend Robb and I lobbied for a side trip to Paris, Texas so we could see the large dinosaurs featured in Pee-Wee Herman's Big Adventure. Our proposal was voted down and we later found out the dinosaurs don't actually reside there.

I recently discovered they are located in Califonia, just west of Palm Springs. What luck, I'd be driving there on my trip back to the mother land. I had to stop. I'm proud to report that they are quite impressive in person. I'm sad to report that the gift shop located in the brontosaurus's belly promotes creationism while also selling science kits.

Call me Ishmael.

Damn sperm whale nearly bit my head off.

Weird.

Here's a strange little observation I've made. When you stand out on the end of the Santa Barbara pier and look straight West, you see... land?!

Special thanks to my spokesmodel, Kristi, for providing pointing emphasis.

I sold the Volvo

Check out my pimpin' new Lincoln.

Hittin' Hollywood

Parking in a sketchy lot a block off of Hollywood Blvd: $10

Getting denied entrance to some B-List club: Typical

Having your buddy's girlfriend beg to get you in: Funny

Cover Charge: $20

Shitty Draft Beer: $7

Seeing waitresses in lingerie and club sluts wearing even less: Interesting

Being surrounded by a bunch of LA schmucks: Annoying

Cost of reserving two tables so you have somewhere to set your drink: $500 (Two bottles of Skye, one per table, see list)

Giving LA the finger as I see it disappear from my rearview mirror: Priceless


For those keeping track, it was $10 to park the car, $40 to get Dan and myself in the club (Scott got a pass), and $21 for 3 beers. That's more than $70 just to walk in the door and have a beer. Emily's boss paid for the booze for the table. Note the price for a bottle of Malibu. WTF???

Fun With Facial Hair!!!

It's a little known fact that the Chuck Norris symbiote-beard is a shape shifter. It became bored with its tedious existence of clinging to my face waiting for a fight to break out, so it began evolving.






The return of the evil Fu-Man-Chu? Nothing to fear, just a temporary visage of follicle flaunting. EJ, your burritos are safe.







Hey, right back at 'ya!

Is it just me, or is winking really creepy?






I'm not sure if I was going for Charlie Chaplin or Hitler here. I don't think I'm doing either very well.




EEEWWWW!!! The dreaded Dirty Sanchez!

U - G - L - Y

You ain't got no alibi! You ugly, you ugly, you uuuh-gleee!

SRAM's new road group, called Force, showed up at the Tour of California. It sounds like it has an interesting shifting mechanism. But man, it is rather uninspired in the looks department. Whatever happened to bike parts, especially road bike parts, being sleek and elegant? Or the artisanship and detail work put into them? But hey, it has carbon fibre! Look at the weave pattern! Groan. And nice plastic-er-composite pulley cage.